Mama was the love of Daddy’s life. Their love story began when she was a skinny teenage girl walking to school in their rural community of Bugtussel. Mama would make a calculated detour by the local sawmill where Daddy was working. He pretended not to notice, but for him, it was love at first sight.
Unfortunately, like many of their generation, World War II interrupted their blossoming romance. They were separated for several years while Dad served in the Pacific Theatre. Not wanting Mama to wait on him, he wrote her a “Dear Jane” letter when he shipped out. He didn’t know if he would make it back – so many didn’t. That letter hurt Mama and she did date a few others in his absence, but the first time she saw him when he arrived home in April 1946, she knew he was The One.
They eloped a year later on April 5, 1947. Dad constructed two small rooms and an outhouse on the 75-acre place they bought from a relative. Deemed the “poorest land in the community,” Dad set out to turn it into a respectable homestead. As the farm grew and expanded to more than 150 acres, Mama and Daddy’s family grew too: Melanie in January 1949, Sherry in May 1950, me in June 1959, Joshua in December 1961 and Shaun in November 1969. Even though we were far apart in age, all of us kids were close. The happiest place on Earth for us was that little farm Dad and Mama made into a home.
They had many tough times during those years of raising a family, but we never felt the sting of outside turmoil. We had our safe haven on those rolling hills and in Mama’s warm, welcoming kitchen.
From those original two rooms, Dad eventually added a big kitchen, a bathroom, another bedroom, bathroom, sun porch, a bigger living room and another bedroom and bath. Dad once quipped, “If I keep adding rooms I’ll eventually cover this whole hill!” He and Mama were both glad for the extra space when the grandkids started coming, then the great-grands – 26 in all.
While Dad worked as an independent paint contractor, Mama kept the home, creating wonderful meals and teaching us those skills as she worked. She passed along her love of reading, making sure we always had plenty of library books and magazines to feed our hungry minds as well. Dad taught us honesty, hard work and practical skills through his example.
Everyone trusted Dad and often sought his advice. When he wasn’t busy working on jobs in town, he was working on the farm, turning that poor piece of ground into an award-winning showplace of land management and cattle production. He and Mama also served faithfully in our community church for most of their lives.
Even though they did not always see eye to eye on things (which sometimes led to short periods of “the silent treatment” on Mama’s part), Dad had a way of jollying her out of her moods. Watching Mama and Daddy was sometimes like observing a mysterious dance that no one understood but them. Sometimes, all it took was a glance, a knowing smile or a pat on the shoulder to steady the family ship. It was a beautiful thing to see – even if I didn’t understand it growing up.
This year would have marked 78 years together for them. It makes me wonder why we don’t see this type of longevity in marriage like we used to. Part of it is cultural, but I think it also reflects a deeper spiritual lack of maturity and commitment to something bigger than ourselves. No marriage is perfect, but I believe some could last longer with a bit more effort.
Mama and Daddy disagreed plenty, upset one another, hurt one another (though not intentionally), they got fighting mad sometimes (but never in front of us kids) and they had financial, extended family and physical problems a plenty, but their commitment and love never wavered. It was ironclad and unshakable, even when we lost Joshua at age 24.
Not everyone is so fortunate to find the love of their life at an early age, but Mama and Daddy showed that whatever life throws at you, you can handle it better together. They celebrated 76 years of marriage, and when the Lord called Mama home on Nov. 8, 2023, Dad was heartbroken. He followed her exactly 12 weeks later on Jan. 31, 2024. It was our turn to be heartbroken.
We will celebrate their special day in our own way this year as siblings and remember what a gift we were given for so many years. Love your family while you can. Enjoy your children and grandchildren – they are some of God’s greatest gifts.
